Written from Mayacamas Ranch, Calistoga, CA
How do I describe the feeling of seeing twenty precious souls take an entire weekend to practice yoga with me as their guide? For years, I have been dreaming of conducting my own retreat, but needed just the right place — a place where the quiet is indescribably deafening, where we would be surrounded by so much beauty that it would transport us all away, and where I would be able to realize my passion for sharing the gifts inside me while I receive them from others as well.
Mayacamas Ranch is such a place. But it isn’t only about the amazing facility. It’s also about being removed from everyday life — from jobs, from the routine we all understand so well, and from the constant chatter that goes on inside our heads that we usually silence by “numbing” ourselves with TV, computers, or cell phones.
Just as I describe the idea of “letting go” during the practice of yoga, I had to learn for myself what that would mean for this first day — a day I had planned down to the nth degree for months now. As we began our first journey together once everyone spread out their mats, surrounded themselves with pillows, blocks, straps and anything that could aid them in holding the poses they would be experiencing, the sky took on an unusual color for a late June day. As oceanic belly breaths became audible, pose by pose, everyone seemed to be getting deeper and deeper into their practice. Few heads turned to watch others, and as I spoke the words that led them down their paths, I realized everyone was experiencing something different.
It was at that point that my well-meant plans melted away. This was just as much their experience as it was mine. All I had to do was be there and, like the yoga we were practicing, things would begin to flow. And they did.
By the time the group had earned their “shavasana” moment of relaxation at the end of the session, I heard loud sighs of both pleasure and relief in the background. And then one of the attendees came up to me and shared her reaction to what she had just experienced. ”That was amazing,” she said. “As I lay there in total relaxation, I literally left my body. What was that? I wasn’t asleep, so what just happened?” What was interesting was that I know this woman to be a pretty non-nonsense chick — one who might have a tough time with the more “esoteric” elements of the practice of yoga. I explained to her that those moments at the end of yoga session are for that very purpose — to transport you to a different plane, if just for a few moments. They help you absorb the movements from class. It is a place for total relaxation and release of physical and mental states giving way to a complete surrender, and shavasana provides the ultimate reward after a rigorous yoga session.
It was then that I knew I would be learning more from my students than they were learning from me. And from now on, I would let the entire weekend flow like a stream that knows its own path without needing much direction.
